Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
