I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
