O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
