Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
