Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
