you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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