Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just threw up on my dentist
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I enjoy the company of your penis
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