Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
