I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Every concussion has its silver lining
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
