Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
