Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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