In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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