All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
