i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
