If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize