But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
