Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
