I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
