i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
