I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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