Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
