You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
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Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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