Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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