i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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