I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
