I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
