the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
