ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
