I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
