If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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