found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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