bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
