When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
