This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
