what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
