Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize