i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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