He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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