i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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