Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
