im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
