you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Boobs speak an international language.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
