I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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