the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
