From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize