I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize