She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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