Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
