ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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