the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
