Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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