Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
