I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
