So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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