I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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