my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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