Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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