Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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