he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
