Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
