I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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