when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
